It is natural to expect some strong emotions in the upcoming days and weeks.
It is useful to consider 3 concepts we can extrapolate from “brain science”:
1. When we are upset the part of our brain that is designed to keep us safe from immediate threat is activated. This causes us to narrow our focus on the threat, perceived or imminent.
2. Additionally, our evolutionary design is to err to the side of perceiving threats even when they aren’t there. Like a smoke detector that goes off even when there’s no fire, our alarm system is built to sound false alarms and assume that the stick is a snake.
3. These mechanisms turn down, or off, our capacity to think clearly, solve problems, heal, rest, digest, connect with others, etc.
Beyond what is logical and just to fear about the upcoming election aftermath, we can remember that for most of us, our upsetting emotions and concomitant bodily sensations are being driven by perceived and not imminent threats.
I am not saying these reactions aren’t valid, understandable, or worthy of compassion. I am saying that there is a more skillful way of responding to these likely reactions so that we can be in the best position possible - body, mind, and spirit - to handle whatever comes our way as a result of the election outcomes.
I also believe that there is a moral imperative, for many of us who are reading this blog, to make the distinction between those of us for whom the threat is largely perceived and not imminent, and those who do face clear and immediate danger whether Kamala or Trump wins...
The Survival Mode being "on" too much, too often, for too long is the root of all suffering and disease.
Survival Mode is the "default" we are all born with, but we can upgrade to "Thriving Mode" if we know how.
There are many examples, but I will choose one that hits close to home to illustrate my point. The last time Trump was President, a man drove 20 hours to the border INSIDE of the United States, urged on by Trump's agenda to fight “the illegal alien invasion”, and killed 23 (US Citizens, go figure) in an El Paso Walmart. My Father-in-Law, a Mexican-AMERICAN, who also happens to have dedicated his entire life to public service, narrowly escaped Walmart with his life that day leaving the dog food he went in for, bloodied, in the aisle next to the slain he couldn’t rescue at the age fragile age of 83.
If Kamala wins:
There will be good, innocent people among us whose lives are in IMMEDIATE DANGER at the hands of potential insurrectionist, Trump supporters who are upset and likely encouraged by profoundly effective propaganda convincing them to fight for their “patriotic” rights.
If Trump wins:
There will be good, innocent people among us whose lives are in IMMEDIATE DANGER even before Trump takes office because countless Trump-supporting “patriots” may feel emboldened to take matters proposed and supported by MAGA rhetoric into their own hands.
So, what can WE do?
We can assess: am I upset because I can understand the injustice of the situation and am worried about the implications, or am I afraid for my and my family's safety right now? Today? In the coming days and weeks?
If the threat is RIGHT NOW your survival mechanism is built to mobilize incredible resources to keep you safe and I won’t need to tell you to do so, because your instincts will take over automatically. Thank goodness.
If the threat is NOT right now:
The survival mode is NOT your best resource....
This means it is worth using tools and accessing support to regulate your emotional/physiological reactions so that you can put your nervous system, body, mind, and spirit in the best possible position to navigate the types of challenges we need our most creative capacities on board for in the future, and so that we can be in a position to support and care for people who are in more immediate danger than we are.
The World Health Organization put out an amazingly lucid and practical document called "Doing What Matters in Times of Stress” They use this model in places where bombs are dropping and everyone IS facing an immediate threat. So, it works in either case. And the gist of it is this:
1. Accept the legitimate upset emotions you are experiencing.
2. Pivot to acting on your values.
In other words, don’t stay stuck in your emotions if you can help it. Instead, employ self-regulating tools perhaps as a mid-step, but then get involved in living, contributing, and "togethering."
You might not be in a position to directly assist the people among us who are in immediate danger, but doing anything kind for anyone, or assisting in indirect ways, is not only a benefit to others but the best thing you can do for your health and well-being.
If you are not in immediate danger from an outer threat, then the most pressing danger facing you are the neurochemicals activated by you ruminating on how upset you are. That stuff will shorten your life and diminish its quality. That is YOUR clear and present danger.
And the best way to fight THAT is to get involved: help a neighbor, call a friend, hug a loved one, donate to a poignant cause (though this doesn’t help YOU quite as much as taking more embodied action), get civically engaged, volunteer, feed people, do whatever you can to make the world a better place.
Because it turns out, coming full circle to “mental health", that there is NONE found in the pursuit of “me” and “my” personal health and happiness (and especially not in ruminating about injustice and fostering overwhelming emotions), but there is an abundance found in the earnest pursuit of what is best for ALL.
Together we thrive,
Mike
Michael Boyle LMFT, CDBT
Speaker, Author, Therapist, Coach
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in New Mexico & Massachusetts
Certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
HeartMath Clinical Certification for Stress, Anxiety, and Emotional Regulation
Certified in Eriksonian Clinical Hypnosis
Trauma specialist trained in EMDR, somatic therapy, EFT, CBT, NLP
Advanced studies in yoga, Ayurveda, breathwork, meditation, optimal performance, biohacking, and just about everything you can imagine about healing and thriving.
Authorized to sharethe relevant work of Dr. Joe Dispenza and Grace Essence Mandala.
Founder of the ALL Together Academy, author of the Creative-IAM, Facilitator of "The Future Now" Mastermind, "The Relating Renaissance" and Energy of Mind: Secular Spiritual Work for Practical People.
